Woowee! I am feelin' fine, I tell you what. I haven't felt this good in years. I just went running earlier. I have a spring to my step! My hair looks and feels so great when I run my hands through it! My skin? Fantastic. Not to mention I can't stop getting hard! I jerked off like ten times yesterday!
Of course just a week ago I was hanging out with my buddies, old and fat. That's me on the far left, with the beard. Regular ol' Santa Claus. We were getting together and talking about everything. Mortgages, getting old, our kids not appreciating us and always asking for money.
My buddies here, from left to right are Ed, Lou, and Les. My name is Kenny. So Ed, the short one, he says, "So if you guys could be young again, but you had to take youth away from a younger man, would you do it?"
We all joked around that it would probably depend on the kid.
"What if it's a young man who is just a shithead?"
"Well...I suppose if he doesn't have any good qualities, it would probably be doing the world a favor," Lou said.
I agreed. So did Les. So Ed says "I got a way to swap bodies with anyone. Watch this."
He walks over to a tree and suddenly I'm looking at myself. Les and Lou start screaming. They were in each others bodies and I was in Ed's body. That was when we decided he wasn't totally full of shit. After an hour of freaking out he told us he would switch us back. And he did. All of a sudden I found myself looking down on him again.
After that, we made a plan to gather our assets into hard currency and make a swap with a younger man of our choice. We all spent quite a lot of time combing the community. I had to pick someone old enough to be independent but young enough to make the swap worth while. I also had to pick someone who was morally and ethically not going to make a lot of impact in the world. But it couldn't be someone with kids or attachments.
I finally decided on the body you now see me in, beautiful isn't he...er,...I mean aren't I fucking beautiful? Even my voice is gorgeous. I was the first one to be swapped. I had met Randy as part of a program to rehabilitate drug addicts. He had been a heroin addict and gone to jail for a while and now he was trying to get back on his feet. He had everything going for him but now he had fucked it all up. The more I talked with him the less I liked him. He was racist, homophobic, and had hit his former girlfriend. That was the reason he'd been sent to prison. I pretended to side with him on everything and he gradually told me everything. I had found my worthless but hot young man. After the first week of talking with him, I invited him to stay with me. Before this I had just volunteered to teach him how to talk on an interview and get his GED. But the first night he stayed in my nice, luxurious house I made the swap.
He woke up screaming in my big fat body. You should have seen him. And me, I was in heaven! My god this body was incredible. And I had a pretty nice dick as it turned out.
I told him if he ever wanted my body back he'd shut the fuck up. I had taken out my life savings and cashed it into gold and platinum and hid it. If he wanted my help in getting a new body he'd pretend to be me. He was retired so it wasn't like he had a job to go to, just keep up appearances with the family and neighbors. I would be the charming new young man he was "renting" a room to. You know, just so he would have some companionship after the divorce. Luckily my wife had her own money and didn't feel like taking any of mine. But it made it all the better to get away with. Soon I had made a bank account with the gold and platinum, telling the bank it had been the wish of my "godfather" that I have a nice start to life. I invested in stocks and went over portfolios with the very impressed men at the bank. They asked me if I had considered a career in finance and I told them I was thinking about being an entrepreneur. This body may not have education on paper but I have the know-how to make a lot of money.
The next step was getting everyone else a young man to swap lives with.
Imagine my surprise when two young men showed up at my door one night.
"Yo bro! What's up? Hey, is your name really Randy? I think it might be something else!"
"It's us, Kenny?"
I was floored. "Which ones are in there?"
"I'm Ed," said the taller one on the right."
"I'm Lou," said the rather cute one on the left."
"It's been one hell of a week!" Ed said. "Oh and our new names. I'm now Brennan. This here is Kyle."
"Pleased to meet you, fellas, You wanna beer?"
"Don't mind if we do!"
"So how did you decide on these fellas?"
"Well it's funny how this happened. These young pieces of shit tried to rob me!" Lou said. "I held them up at gunpoint and had my sons tie them up. We let them in on our little secret. Then I brought Ed over. I signed over the house to my sons and we took the time to cash in our assets to gold and such. We kept these shitheads tied up until we were all done."
"So where are they now?"
"Well mine, he's living in our new apartment," Ed explained "I sold the house and belongings so we moved in to a new place with the money out of my new account. I made him my personal slave until I decide to give him a new body. I told him after five years of servicing us I'd give him a new bod. Fuck it's feeling good to be in these bodies! I really had forgotten how good it could feel to be alive!"
"Oh and just so you know, we swapped bodies with a couple of gay guys."
"Really..so, you guys are gay now?"
"Yeah after the first few nights we tried to jack off to Playboy but it wasn't working. We jumped each others bones and we've been having a lot of fun.."
"Without going into too much detail, we realize you might be a little old fashioned," Lou smiled.
"Yeah, right. I don't give a fuck what you guys do so long as you're happy. So when you say servicing..."
"Ed's guy is living with us as our personal fuckboy and bitch. Mine ran off and we have no idea where he is but my sons know who is really in his body. If they find him he won't be able to claim to be me and recover any of his money. We have no idea what happened to him but who fucking cares? More youth for me!"
"So I guess that leaves only Les..." I said.
After telling Les about our new choices, he was pretty jealous. Luckily, the best was saved for last.
Meet the new Les:
"Hello, boys!" Les said, driving his new car. "Jesus these guns are fucking huge! I never knew muscles like this could even exist! I feel like I could fuck for DAYS! I just bench pressed over 300 pounds at the damn gym, son!"
Les, now going by "Gavin" was now the son of a wealthy couple who I happened to know and I had considered him for myself. But I had no idea that things had gotten so bad. He had been to prison twice for vandalism. He was dealing drugs. He was definitely on steroids. He beat up his little brother a number of times. It was me that befriended his brother and got close enough to the couple to use the magic spell Ed had given us (I now knew it by heart and combined with drinking a magic potion I could do it at will). I switched the wife with the husband for a few minutes and they begged me to change them back, which I did. I then gave them my proposition. Les would switch places with their violent sociopath of a son.
The swap went over without much fuss. Well, if by not much fuss you actually mean an old man screaming give me my body back and trying to beat up Les, who was now a huge muscle man! It was almost funny.
I hear Gavin's little brother adores his new bigger brother. The new old man is going to live in the home where his body owned, but he has to pay rent and get a job. He's working as a garbage man now. He was told not to try to get a job with his many credentials. We gave him a new identity with new ID cards and now he has to haul garbage around for a living to make ends meet.
If any of you have a problem with me and my friends stealing time, just remember the old adage. Youth is wasted on the young!