Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Zoltar - Part 4

My name is Brent Johnson and I'm in some fucking trouble. I owe money to a gangster. I was gonna make a few drug deals to make the money I needed. I already went to jail once and I can't go back again. I just can't.

"Hey, kid."

"Hey, Uncle Brent."

"Jase, I gotta go into town. I need you to look after your brother tonight."

"He never listens to me! I'm gonna beat his ass if he acts up this time, he's a fucking brat."

"Hey, don't use that language. If you wanna say "fuck" you better be old enough to ride my fuckin' motorcycle. It's bad enough your dad's in jail and your mom split. I'll tell your brother to behave or I'll beat his fucking ass."

I have two nephews. Jase is 12 and Bradley is 10. Bradley is a spoiled little shit and Jase...I feel like he's gonna end up just like me or his dad. I don't want that for him. But it's not like I ever expected to be a parent. I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

Hours later, I'm walkin' into the casino. I am escorted by some big tough guys in suits and the next thing I know Mr. Saul Powers, an intimidatingly huge guy smoking a cigar and I was about to shit. This guy could take me out. Hopefully we can make a deal.

"Mr. uh, Johnson. Sit down." He orders me like he owns me. Fuck. "You owe us money. You think money grows on trees."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Powers. Just tell me what I can do. There's gotta be something I can do for you."

"Well, I'm a man who recognizes compromise is possible. Tell you what. You got a chance to get out of this. I have a need for you to do some spying for me. I'll contact you tomorrow for details. I'm gonna have you be my eyes and ears in places I can't go. Now, here's a coin. I want you to go to that genie machine over there and wish there was a solution for you out of this."


"Do I look like I'm making a joke, asshole?" He was angry. Angry mobster bad.

"Sure, sure. Sure thing, Mr. Powers." Please don't let him beat me up or kill me! "I wish there was a way out for me, out of this situation."

I got a little card saying my Wish was Granted. I was allowed to go home. By the time I got back home it was dark. Jase and Bradley were at each others throats.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I told you to listen to your fucking brother while I was gone!"

They started fighting even more and I didn't feel like fucking listening to it. I ordered them to their rooms and crashed and slept like a log.

And woke up in Jase's bed. "What the fuck?"

"You said a bad word! I'm gonna tell Uncle Brent on you!"

"I am Uncle Brent," I mumbled, realizing that the bed was way too tall. "The fuck is wrong with my voice?"

And then my body came out, looking down on me, and we realized at once that we woke up in the wrong bodies. I shushed him and got him to come outside with me.

"How is this possible, Uncle Brent? I'm you! I look just like you! I even have...I woke up with a boner! And it's huge!"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Look, kid. Um. Not kid. Look. I know how this happened."  I explained to him what was happening as far as I knew it. I got a call at that point from Mr. Powers telling me that he expected both me and my body in the casino in a few hours.

"You'll have to impersonate me in front of Bradley."

"No problem!" Jase sauntered inside in my body. "Hey Bradley, get over here! Uh...Jase here says you were acting like a brat last night! And that you wouldn't do anything he said, and that you were being annoying and screaming a lot and acting like a fucking spaz, is that true?"

"No, he's lying!"

"Oh yeah?" Jase in my body whipped his little brother around and took him down onto his knee and spanked him HARD three times. "You want some more, smart mouth?" Bradley just sniffed and tried not to cry and said no and ran off. Today was Saturday.

"Okay. So you have to impersonate me," I said, not really caring he just disciplined his brother. It must have been a dream come true for him. "Call my girlfriend and tell her we need a babysitter. I don't want Bradley alone here. And shit, I just realized, I can't drive like this! We'll need a ride. I can't teach you to drive this quickly. I'll...you'll say the truck isn't working and..."

I watched my nephew call my girlfriend and Jase is smart, I'll give him credit, he was able to pull off acting like me. He looked at me like "that was close". Jill got here and gave MY face a big kiss. Jase's eyes went wide open. He started bumbling around his words after getting his first kiss from a hot woman.

"Yeah I can give you a ride. So uh, are you in trouble?"

"I think I might get a job today. Not sure. I just really need this."

"Babe, that's awesome!"

"I know!" She turned around and he looked at me with a panicked look. Bradley and I rode in the back and then Jase told her he wanted me to come along because he wanted Mr. Powers to see he had a kid, and that he was a real family man. He said Mr. Powers requested it. We went over this story beforehand."

"Oh, right. Totally. These guys are all about uh, family," She smiled to the suited goons.

So there we were in Mr. Powers office.

"Boys! So glad you could make it. How do you like your new bodies? I like them quite a lot." He drew a puff from his cigar. "Now here is the deal. You owe me money." He looked at me. "So you're gonna be 12 and look for kids that I can use. I'm gonna be pulling some more switches. I'm gonna switch some powerful men, some of whom are enemies, well okay all of them, with younger kids. You are gonna find me just the right kids. Boys who are from good families, boys who are likely to do what they are told, and who are in a hurry to grow up. In exchange, I let you guys live."

"You want me to STAY a kid? For how long?"

"Til you grow the fuck up or whenever I say!" he shouted sternly.

"Sir?" Jase said from in my body. "What am I gonna do?"

"Well, that is interesting. You could do work for me as well. You aren't exactly a kid anymore so it's not like you can't get a job. I could use a security guard. We'll train you. You a smart kid, Jase?"

"Uh..." He looked at the gangster and knew he was being tested.  "Jase here is my nephew and my name is Brent." He looked at me carefully.

"Good boy. Your name is Brent now. Well, I'll give you a week before you start. That will give you enough time to learn to drive. Saw your girlfriend bringing you boys in. Teach him to drive." He told me.

"Yes, sir. Mr. Powers." I didn't know what else to say.

"I'll have you back in here in a month. I was three boys who you recruit for me to replace the men I have a list of. You'll choose them, groom them, prepare them. Any questions? No? Get out."

Jase walked me downstairs. and said "I'm sorry Uncle Brent."

"Don't be sorry, you did a good job." I was smart enough to not blame him. He was just paying the price for my mistakes.

I forgot about Jill. She was downstairs and Jase told her he got a job. She hugged him and was thrilled and gave him another kiss, this time a much longer one. I was so mad and jealous but I turned away, seething.

Anyway, I don't know what I expected to happen. Jase was a fully grown man now. I taught him to drive that week. I stayed away from the subject of Jill. He finally got to the point where he could drive well, to and from town. I knew he was under a lot of pressure. He was 12 and being asked to support a family. And he wasn't taking any crap from his former brother. He put him in his place whenever he opened his mouth. I was always too distracted to really discipline Bradley but I had to admit, Jase was really on top of that. He also learned how to ride HIS new motorcycle.

We started to call each other by our new names just in case someone overheard us. He started to go to work. I went to school. I was sort of horrified to be around children and be the same size as them. I was in 6th grade and had only a few months left of school before summer vacation. I spent my time trying to fit in, listen in class, be a good student, and adjust to my new life. I spent as much time as possible scouting potential kids who were smart and would do as they were told if they were to find themselves as a mayor, army officer, or police officer.

One day I walked in after coming home from school. Jase had his arms wrapped around Jill, kissing her fiercely. He got embarrassed and said he needed to have a talk with his nephew. Jill beamed at him.

He brought me outside and he was dressed in his coplike security uniform.

"I had sex. I'm not a virgin. I've been having sex with Jill. I really like her. I didn't mean for this to happen."

I cursed and swore. We were out in the field. He let me. He told me he loved me. And then he told me he was using condoms so don't worry he was at least being safe.

Sometimes I hear them fucking at night. He'll try and keep it quiet but he is jacked with muscle, goes to the gym now for me (who am I kidding, it's his body now) and he's an all American boy. He fucks her every night now since she moved in. I try to bury my jealousy but I just turned in the first list of names to Mr. Powers. Maybe he can reward me someday but I doubt it. I'll just have to grow up all over again.

We're a family, just not the one I ever thought I'd have. It is what it is. At least Jase..well, Brent now. He's happy. He's in charge and he's trying really hard to be a good father. He's not mean to me, he just wants me to know that he wants peace between us.

We will never tell anyone what happened. Who would believe us? Who would believe a magic wish granting genie actually exists?


  1. This series is getting better and better. Can't wait to see kids switching with Saul's enemies.

  2. Definitely my favorite one so far!