Friday, April 11, 2014

April Fool's Day: 1983 - Adventures of Muscle High, USA


My name is Finn and I go to Muscle High. Well, that's what everyone calls it. I'm just the school nerd in Venice Beach CA. Every musclehead in the world is here. I try to just keep getting straight A's. My parents say girls will eventually understand me but so far girls only care about muscle headed jocks. It isn't fair! Us nerds just can't ever get a break!

One day, though, I decided to enjoy my favorite pasttime and go for a walk on the beach to look for shellfish specimens. All the jocks on the beach with their shirts off were looking for babes, though. I got laughed at a couple of times and felt really embarrassed. I wish I didn't have to feel this way. I put everything in my backpack and decided to just go home when I saw a strange man looking for things with a metal detector. He said he was a scientist so of course I got excited. He said he was looking for something he had dropped earlier! He had a second metal detector and he said I looked like just the kind of young man he could definitely help. His name is Dr. April and he said that the device was very important to science.

Anyway, we went back to his car. He gave me my new metal detector to work with. I helped him comb the beach around the area he told me to. A lot of hot women in bikinis laughed at me, like always and big muscled guys looked down on me. Some of them would just should things like "nerd" and "poindexter" and "dweeb". You..get the idea. A lot of them were jocks from my school who just love nothing more than to look bigger than me in front of their hot girlfriends. Fun as always.

All of a sudden my detector went off! I dug down quickly and found a metallic box, small with many strange switches and wires. I called over to Dr. April and he quickly thanked me by handing me a hundred dollars! Wow!

"Now, my young sir, would you like to help me in the name of science?"

"Sure!"

"Then come back to my hotel room and I will show you what this device can do! It will advance the human body in ways I can't describe!"

I went along with him thinking, maybe he can help write a recommendation for college. An actual scientist would definitely give me real science cred!

We got back to the small hotel room and he revealed that the device was meant to help repair and nurture human cels by having them grow and multiply and this would help prevent disease.

"Here, put your finger right here and it will scan you."

"Okay, like this?"

Suddenly there was a bright light. The machine was gone. So was Dr. April. I blinked. I walked over to the mirror, or tried to but all my clothing hurt so badly I found myself having to tear it all off. It was like I was wearing toddler clothing for a four year old! This guy must be some kind of children's magician, I thought.

But as it turned out, he was a real one. I know how it sounds. Magic? Real? But it is the only scientific explanation for what happened to me at this point.


Don't believe this is me? Well believe it. I took the clothes that were on the bed and put them on because mine obviously weren't going to fit. I thought several things. That I was crazy or that he injected me with LSD. But I tested these theories by walking around outside. I interacted with people. I was at least five years older than I had been, probably more. I had identification that proved I had the same name but for whatever reason I was not my fathers YOUNGER BROTHER. My parents now had no memory of me being their child. I still had the same memories. This was all written in a note I found from Dr. April. Oh god, wanna see me flex?




I used to be such an intellectual. I still plan on maybe taking some night classes. But my days are pretty busy at the gym. Yes, I, the poindexter, now own a gym where all my old high school friends now come to every day to try to get as buff as me. I spend most of my time encouraging guys by giving them tips. Some of them LOVE to watch me while I lift and I quickly discovered they would do anything for me...including sucking my cock! Yes, all the jocks that used to make fun of me...a lot of them are gay and they loooooove to suck bodybuilder cock! I never knew!

Life is sure different but all of my secret desires were for a big body, and to be admired for it. I'm willing to wait a while longer before becoming a scientist. I think the important thing is, I'm big and big people get respect no matter what. So get out of my way when you see me, shrimp!

ALSO FROM THAT SAME DAY...


This is Ed.


This is Ed. Ed just happens to have been one of the really unfortunate college students who decided to do some tutoring at Muscle High, and he began to deeply regret it. Most of his clients were high school kids way bigger than him. Animals practically. Huge bulking menaces to society. He was helping them with their grades, or trying to, but all they cared about was getting laid, and meanwhile here he was a gay virgin who had to keep himself from blowing a wad all over himself whenever he went through their coursework in the library.

One day he found himself staring at a poster he had gotten for free. Mr. April, the school biology teacher, had given it to him because apparently he looked like he could "use some motivation". Maybe the guy could smell how desperate he was for some muscle in real life but maybe the guy was just a gym nut himself and was trying to get him to be as well.

Most of the jocks shied away from talking about themselves and their huge muscles to him but high school hadn't been like that and college sure wasn't. Everyone was big and strong around here and they made sure he knew it. He was miserable and still getting pushed around. He stared at the poster now in his bedroom. He still lived at home with his parents because the dorms just hadn't worked out. He had been the subject of many, many "nerd pranks" and humiliations done at the hands of much bigger guys than him.


"I wish I'd been born with YOUR genetics," he said to the poster.


Something twinkled in the eye of the man in the poster.

Ed shook his head. Surely he must be imagining things. He turned back to his calculus homework. In no time he was dozing. Stupid math, it was so boring, he thought. Wait...I like math. But not as much as pumping iron. Wait. He liked iron as a part of chemistry. Fe was the symbol for it. Iron was an interesting element.

He woke up.

"Mmmm, I need a protein shake with lots of iron!" Protein shake? Why would he say that? "And I need to hit the gym." He said these things out loud and it was as if he had been taken over by a pod person!

He looked in the mirror. He was now a carbon copy of the poster boy! HE WAS HUGE! He spent an hour trying to figure out if he was crazy or not. The hair, the face, the enormous muscles. They were everything he had ever dreamed of.

The poster was magic and he learned this by receiving a phone call to come down to the gym by his buddy, Finn. Suddenly two faces came to his mind. One a thin, lanky nerd in high school and the other a huge, hulking mass of delicious muscle stud.

"I must be going crazy. May as well see where this dream takes me."


He got there just as the new huge Finn was showing off to some of the other studs who were now much younger than him.

When they were finally alone, Finn sat down and began working at one of the machines. "How is this happening? Do you know? Am I dreaming right now?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have lived in two realities now. I think I have theories. Maybe a multiverse exists where we developed in different bodies and we have been placed into such a reality without realizing it. But that is only a theory."

"I feel fucking amazing!" Ed said, feeling his first ever pump with the now unbelievably huge body he now possessed.

"Dude, did you check out your package?" Finn adjusted his own groin and the enormous bulge he possessed.

"Yeah. I'm pretty big. I'm big everywhere." He pumped his arms obsessively. "I love working out and I know everything about it. And I'm in college and...I'm a jock. I have a football scholarship! This is so unreal. It's everything I secretly dreamed about."

"Welcome to the new good life. I'm just going to enjoy it. Now you wanna come home with me and see how big we are together?"

"Not yet. I need to work out for another hour. You can wait, dude."

Even the way he talked was sexier. Inside he was totally insecure about his personality but everything that came out was suave and sexy and not at all nerdy or anxious. He was, for better or worse, incapable of saying anything that made him look anything but drop dead sexy.

The new life was good. It was filled with days of football, getting laid (with chicks and dudes) parties, studying when he felt like it, and driving around in his new sports car. The 80s were a decade of fun and he intended on enjoying every possible partying second of it!

Neither of the jocks would ever forget Dr. or Mr. April, whoever he was.

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