Sunday, February 10, 2013

Dennis the Not So Little Menace

"Oh! Hi, Mr. Wilson!"
"Dennis, how many times do I have to tell you to ask permission before you go into my garden?"
"But you said I could come over any time!"
"I did NOT say that, Dennis. I said you could come over if you asked permission first."
"Gee, Mr. Wilson, you don't have to be so grumpy."
"Dennis, I am not trying to be a grump. You just have to learn a little discipline. The pumpkins will be ready for harvest by next week. You can come by then. Right now I have a dinner party to get ready for."
"Can I come, Mr. Wilson?"
", Dennis. I don't think you would like this party. It's not for kids."
"Aw come on! I thought we were friends!"
"Dennis, I am friends with your father. How many times do I have to explain? It's...I appreciate you wanting to come over. I do. It's just that sometimes grown ups need some...alone time."
"Okay, okay. I understand," Dennis said, even though he didn't seem that broken up about it. Dennis was my next door neighbor and I swear, the kid is a menace! He's always coming over uninvited telling me some crazy story about his friends. He makes things up all the time and I, as a gay retiree, just want to spend my days in peace and quiet, working out my big hairy bod and having company over for my own happiness. I retired early and I've got the money. I want to enjoy my life, not have some kid ruin my day all the time!
"Do you want to see my friend Peebee's newest invention? I borrowed it from his basement!"
"Borrowed? Does Peebee know you borrowed it?"
"He said I could borrow his stuff any time! And this doohicky makes people switch bodies! Do you want to switch bodies with me, Mr. Wilson? That way I could go to your party! And you could have fun bein' a kid again!"
I looked at my crazy neighbor's kid.

"Dennis, I don't even know what I have to say to that. But...sure, if you want to make believe you're me, go right ahead. It might do you some good. Maybe you can go home an act like a mature grown up instead of a little boy who tells stories all the time."
"Gee, Mr. Wilson. If we trade bodies, you'll be in my body and you can go home and even eat my vegetables for me!"
"Some of us like eating vegetables, Dennis," I said, sternly shaking my head.
"So is it a deal, Mr. Wilson?"
"Sure, Dennis. It's a deal. Now will you kindly go home?"

All of a sudden I was dizzy and on the grass. I looked up at the man with the beard.
"Oh what happened?" My voice! It couldn't possibly be me up there! But it was!
"Gee, Mr. Wilson, this is fun!" He took the device which was in my hands. He did a little dance. He looked ludicrous.
" switched bodies with me! I'm just a kid! How the hell did you do that!"
"Gee, Mr. Wilson. You shouldn't say bad words." He looked so...innocent in my body. It was a dream.
"This has to be a dream."
"Nope. If it was a dream you'd wake up! But now you can be a kid and I can be a grown up and go to your party! Aren't you happy now, Mr. Wilson?"
"Happy! You took my body away from me! Give it back right now, Dennis! Or...I'll make sure your father grounds you for a month!"
"Don't do that, Mr. Wilson! You promised! You made a deal with me! I really want to go to your party. And now that I'm you, I'll say you can come over!"
"No! I mean, a child shouldn't go to that sort of party. They'll be doing...very adult things, Dennis."
"Gee, Mr. Wilson, like what?"
"Well, see...Dennis, the thing is adults do private things sometimes. Like...get naked."
"Naked? Mr. Wilson, that's just funny. Wow, things sure look different from up here! And I feel so strong! Look at my muscles, Mr. Wilson!"
"This is a nightmare!" I said in a little boy's voice. It was all so ridiculous. I was small and blond and adorable. It was terrible. Dennis stroked his new beard.
"Gee, this sure feels weird havin' a beard, Mr. Wilson. But I like it."
"Dennis, we need to go back to our normal bodies. You aren't ready to be a grown up yet. Trust me on that one!"
"Aw gee, I just want to have a little fun. We can trade back, tomorrow! I promise!"
"DENNIS!!!" A new voice called out. It was Henry, Dennis's father. I couldn't believe this was happening.
"He's over here!" Dennis said and looked back at me with a grin and a wink and held his finger up and said "Shhhh!" dramatically. Henry came around the fence and saw us both there and before I knew it he was scolding me.
"Now Dennis, I've told you not to bother Mr. Wilson. He's got a lot to do without you being a pest."
"Oh it's okay Dad...uh...Henry." Dennis smiled down at me, still giddy.
"Sure sure. It's just I don't want you to feel put out by Dennis constantly coming over. At least you'll have a break, though."
"Why is that?" the new me asked, perplexed.
"Because I'm taking Dennis to his uncle's farm for a week.
"A WEEK!" we both exclaimed. Dennis grinned even more.
"Gee, I guess I'll see you in a week, then. And I guess I get to live here all week by myself!"
"Yes, that should give you plenty of time to relax," said Henry, rushing me along.
"But..but you don't understand!" I pleaded. This was a nightmare! Dennis was already going back inside MY house! He was going to be living in MY house! I had such a nice, neat house and a child with an adult body was probably going to ruin it within a week. And the sex party! What was going to happen!
But before I knew it, I feebly tried to make a case to Henry that I was Mr. Wilson. He just laughed at me as he put me in the car and my new mother, Alice got in with us.
"Oh Dennis. You and your stories," he chuckled.


  1. Awesome man , I love the story . Can't wait for the next one , hopefully that will be sooner than later but if its this kind of quality it will be well worth the wait

    1. Thanks. I make stories when I can. Glad you enjoy them.

  2. Great story! Wonder what Dennis will do at the sex party. Maybe he'll refuse to trade back when Mr. Wilson comes back from the farm.